What I saw during Lasik Eye Surgery

I just experienced one of the more extraordinary things in life, Lasik eye surgery. After more than 20 years of corrected lens wearing, I now have 20/20 vision. Science is real.
Here are some drawn and digitally altered images in attempt to recreate what I saw through the steps of surgery. While I had anesthetic drops in my eye so I couldn't feel any pain, I was awake and still able to see what was going on.
The hardest part was anticipating bright lights coming into your eye and not being able to blink.
After taking numbing eye drops and lying on the exam bed, the machines moved into place over head and bright lights zoomed in on my face. The surgeon placed a patch on my left eye and a speculum opened my right lid, clockwork orange-esque and there I went...toward the light.

Then, I presume, they suctioned my eyeball because I lost partial vision but could still see the ceiling lights in my peripheral vision. The strangest twinkles of blinking blue and green dots appeared for a few moments across the black patch. I read on another blog that those are blobs of your veins???
I think this is where they cut open my cornea as well. I felt pressure and encouraging words of "Good job, Jean" from somewhere behind me. Then I saw a green dot coming towards me in between red dots. I was told to keep looking still at the green dot. Or maybe this happened before I lost vision for a few moments? I can't remember already. Maybe it reappeared?
  There were a few fleeting moments of a faint burning smell that I was told beforehand is NOT my eye burning, but the intensity of the laser machine. Then, they folded my cornea flap back in place and I think added some fluid to the surface of my eye. It looked like someone was brushing clear nail polish over my eye and lightly dabbing here and there.
 
Then they repeated it on the other eye. After less than 10 minutes, I sat up from the bed and they asked me what time the clock said. I could read it just fine.
I was driven home and took a long nap. The end. Now I walk around smiling at everything! Absolutely Amazing!
Did I mention science is real?

Art at its laziest.

Here's another good "post-grad school" activity where you don't even have to get out of bed to do it. Draw stuff on your iphone. I made my first painting today and--well--it felt good. I'm ready to tell you that I did it and none of my analog works have fallen off the wall and punched me in my digitally-glazed face...yet. I do believe my oil paintings are staring from across the room, peeling with envy. They smelled an iTunes download. I imagine my paintbrushes and my pencils get together at night (all Toy Story style) and talk about how to win back my love.  I heartlessly downloaded the free app called DrawCast right in front of those fat tubes of paint.
I'm now accepting recommendations for other free painting/drawing applications to download on my phone. But it better be good because in DrawCast you can even mix colors by tapping your finger on two different digital swatches to come up with a new swatch. Who knew you could have so much fun without turpentine?

I'd say the glass is half FULL today. Drink it up, David Hockney!

Holy Cunniff!

Here is a picture that my grandma had from the same wedding featured in the film.
 From L-R Top (Correct me if I'm wrong!): Joe, (Sheila, face turned away in back), Jim, Tom, (Jean, little hat in back), and Dave. Bottom: Luke (Bud) and Patricia.
Thanks to my father's vast knowledge of WW2, I was also able to frame this film in a very detailed historical context. He writes to me and my siblings:
"Here is a very rare 8mm color movie taken outside of St. Gertrude's Church in August 1945 at the wedding of Patricia Hoffmann and Luke (Bud) Cunniff. As you can see WW2 was just about over and so all of grandma's brothers who were there were still in their US Army uniforms except your great uncle Bob who was in the US Navy. He was still in the service in the Pacific."
He later explained that since this wedding took place August 11, 1945, this was only days after the bombing of Nagasaki on August 9th and Hiroshima on August 6th. The war in Europe had ended in May so the army uncles were all back. The one uncle in the navy, however, is obviously not in any of the footage.
He goes on to explain, "Your great grandmother Elizabeth and your great grandfather Luke Cunniff are walking up the steps at about 0:54-58 on the film. Your grandfather Richard Fitzgerald is there in a bright tie at 1:47-48. Your grandmother Jean Cunniff Fitzgerald is at 2:51 wearing a pink hat and she is with her mother Elizabeth who is wearing the flowers on her head."
I'd like to mention that Jean Fitzgerald (who I am named after) is wearing a pink mini top hat. That is evidence enough to prove she was an amazing person.
My dad continues in his email, "I was about 4 months old and not in these pictures and your uncle Luke was just a twinkle in your grandmother's eyes. The two priests were brothers of Patricia Hoffmann who officiated at the wedding. Grandma's sister Sheila Cunniff Kownick is in the picture at 2:32 - 2:35 and she has the long curly hair. Sheila is then about 1 month shy of her 13th birthday!"



Thanks to the cousin who transferred this to youtube!

Even if you are not related to the people in this video, you still might appreciate its rarity. Chances are though if you are Irish or have ever stepped foot in Chicago, and you are reading this, you probably are related to the people in this video.

I mean, if anything, look at the kids walking by in front of the church. Look at their socks! They're brown! And all the old cars were probably made before the war! It's not hollywood, it's real people in fancy dresses, men in uniform, old bicycles and strollers and cameras and ladies' hats and gloves...
 and I think there are probably more Catholic priests in this video than there are currently in the City of Chicago!...and it's all in color! My father also reminded me that The Wizard of Oz--one of the first color movies-- only had come out 6 years earlier. 

Book gets press(ed)

You might remember a post from last year showing my Computer Book in progress in North Carolina. It was an obsessive book I carried with me on my daily walks, slowly turning the text into Os and 1s.
I'm happy to report that this sculptural book work is currently being shown this summer in Oklahoma City along side some very accomplished artists for whom I have great respect!
The show, at Artspace at Untitled in Oklahoma City, was called Altered Books. Here's some press from the exhibit:
An article from a local paper: http://www.newsok.com/article/3475517?searched=altered%20books&custom_click=search
and then watch the beginning of this video carefully. The Computer Book gets a little cameo role for a few seconds!

A Hoax on the Folks

Many of you know that I spend a lot of time at the Old Town School of Folk Music. Maybe you even swung by their Folk and Roots festival this past weekend. I think the school is one of the best things about the City of Chicago and I don't think there is any place in the world quite like it. (The school offers great 8 week sessions in every instrument, dance form, and genre imaginable. Note: This promotion for the school is largely for strategic karmic purposes that will make more sense at the end of the story. Register for a class here.)
Okay. Anyway...I have been taking an ongoing Irish Fiddle class off and on at Old Town School for quite a few years now.

All the while I've been fiddling, I have learned about one of the school's legends. His name is Ted Johnson. Some of my fellow classmates would mention him during a fiddle class and I would always wonder: "Who is this Ted, anyway!?" Although we have both taken Irish fiddle classes many times, we never managed to register for the same session for several years. I also soon pieced together that this 'Ted' character who I never saw in class was one of the guys pictured in the photographs lining the school's hallways. The legend of Ted grew.
I decided one day that it wasn't fair that I knew what Ted looked like but he never knew what I looked like.
The only sensible, natural thing to do was to plot out how to make a picture of myself visible for Ted to stumble upon in the hallway.

I made my own print out of myself fiddling at home, stuck it in a frame similar to the ones already on display, with the caption saying: "Here's Lookin' at you, Ted. c.2010."
When I visited my next fiddle class, I had it all ready in my purse, and walked into class (probably 5 minutes late) only to find a man I had never met before sitting in class. IT WAS TED! IT WAS TED! Ted had decided to just drop by on the day I was supposed to unveil my big secret photo!
We hugged and I immediately proceeded to show the class the photo I had intended to install in the hallway. We found a place for it anyway (currently held up on the wall with those sticky tabs) and took photos of ourselves together in front of it. Here is Ted (above) pointing out another photo with him in it. As of a few days ago, the picture STILL illegally graces the hallway alongside photos of-ahem-other folk legends.
I'd like to think it is my own small participation in Culture Jamming. Although I'm definitely not trying to bring Old Town School down. They're hardly "the man." Sources around school tell me no one has mentioned anything. I heard this past weekend that the staff person in charge of installing the photographs (hey there! Are you reading this?) would maybe even like the democratic addition to the photography display anyway. Either way, I mean no harm. I love you Old Town School!
(FYI: We are standing on stairs. Ted is not that tall.)

Mural inside an animoto!

My cyberpedagogy class would be proud. This DIY video template gets a little too fancy , but hey, the internets are so easy these days!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Does anyone know how to simplify animoto without paying for the upgrade? I want my mural to actually "animate"!

Falling for the Olympics

I did something very unexpected this past week.

I bought a television.

Please blame it on the Olympics. I'm considering returning the television to the store when the Olympics are over. Well, I don't know. I'm sure another sporting event will be aired again soon. Hopefully on ice...because, sports are so much better on a slippery surface. Man, I love the Winter Olympics.

Someone asked me what my favorite event was and my #1 favorite would have to be Falling and my #2 favorite is Crashing. In fact, there should be a compilation DVD of all of the skiers, skaters, and (curlers?) slipping and falling. I would watch it over and over again.
You're probably wondering who just hacked into Jean's blog. It's me, guys, really.
Jean loves watching sports.
A lot of people never thought I would have an iPhone either. Anything can happen, people.
So yeah, every TV screen I see now makes me wish it had the Olympics running. While pumping gas--- Show me the Olympics!
That would be way better than the advertisements they blare at you in the checkout line of the grocery store.

Guess who makes my contact lenses!?!

I wish I could have posted a sign on a lamp post in Chinatown last week. It would have read:

"Lost:
Hard Contact Lens
Slight bluish Tint
Last seen in my eye at the corner of 23rd St. and Wentworth Ave.
Age: 18 months"

I wear lenses that last up to 2 years. I sleep with them in and take them out only to clean every few weeks. They are awesome and give me nearly perfect vision.
Life just isn't the same without those little curved lenses in my eyes.

BUT!, It turns out there are inmates in Dixon, Illinois who are busy carving away at eyewear, including the rigid gas permeable lens sitting atop my misshapen (but now delightfully corrected) cornea.

"We're more than license plates!" should be the motto of Illinois Correctional Industries. Browse their website and take note of the amazing array of products they make such as

Women's Cotton Panties

orHotdog Buns
But anyway, back to my contacts...
I am utterly amazed by contact lens technology all the time. I was looking at the website for the company that makes my lenses Menicon Z(and now apparently contracts with the IDOC.) They offer a product that my eye doctor never mentioned to me before and sounds fascinating. It's a lens that you only wear at night and it re-shapes your eye so that "you see perfectly all the day long without any visual correction." It's like braces for your eyes where you wear a retainer at night! HA! I imagine it being problematic if your cornea slowly loses its shape as the day wears on and things gut fuzzier and fuzzier. But still!

It also turns out it's hard to photograph contact lenses, especially when they're in your eye. Here are a few more of my attempts:


I can see! It's a miracle!